Realization

“… the world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it…”

I’ve heard Rocky saying this like 6-8 times. I considered it as a very wise speech. That typical ‘good movie’ stuff. It is till today, that I finally understand it the way is was supposed to be understood at the first place.
I’ve never been a hard worker, never fought hard for anything except a relationship. I’ve never had reachable or realistic goals, I was a daydreamer. I never had to think about real life problems, my mother, as strong, independent, and determined as she is, always solved everything… alone.

I was, and in part, still am a man who lives only for the pleasures of life. I never wanted to think about anything which was complicated or hard to solve. I just shoved it away. I lived in my own world; full of games, friends, comfort, and ignorance and, of course, ego and pride. I was putting all my energies in unnecessary things. Don’t get me wrong, I still consider these things as important, but I see now, that I cannot live on like that. I cannot waist ALL my efforts in those things. There are much more important things then comfort and ego. I am a proud man, but I must not let pride and false dreams blind my vision. As the quote above says; life isn’t a daydream. I have to realize, that I am just another name on the list, that I am just another face in the crowd, that I am just another stranger on a bus…

Change is inevitable. We constantly change in one way or another. I didn’t say anything new now, did I? :) Still, there are changes that happen, due to situations in life (outside impulse), and some changes have other origins (inside impulse). I thought that the outside impulse was like letting go of you personality and becoming something that you are not. This is quite egoistic, I think; “The Portray of Myself.”
The world is a graveyard of dreams. Everyone has ambitions, but only few are strong enough to survive the beatings of reality and achieve the goal of their lives. People cannot blame anything else for failure then themselves, there is no “what if…” True, there are people who have better circumstances to start from, but the greatest men and women of our time have mostly started from scrap. You just need motivation, determination, the right attitude, discipline and to be mindful of each and every step you take.

There is no such thing as fate or destiny. You don’t have a yellow brick road ahead of you, you gotta make yourself one. Only and only then will God help you succeed. There are no accidents either, but it is up to us to make the most of them, whether good or bad. Some of us are blinded too much to even look beyond ourselves, like was I, or still am.

The time has come to get rid of my dippers, to wake up from my dreams and start my life in this world we all call home. I don’t like it, don’t like the idea of working, fighting, suffering, but that’s the way it is. I can run from it, but I cannot hide, eventually it will come after me, and I think it is better to give in now, then being chased all the time.

I have to stand in line, like everybody else does. I can never give up. I have to put duty ahead of pleasure. I have to let go of comfort, and work and study very hard. I have to grab motivation, and let go of ignorance. I have to let go of ego and introduce sacrifice. I have to let go of David Blade, so I can become a better Dávid Tomázy.