Uncomfortable Silence?

I don't know whether I'm imagining this or it is true, but I got the feeling that some people don't, in particular, consider me friendly or think that I'm rude, or just a show off.

I got a hunch; small talk. It is true that I am not that small talk kind'a guy, for I'd rather sit and listen or not even pay attention, than to join in. This has a rather simple reason, avoiding a very unpleasant feeling, uncomfortable silence. I hate it. When you are through telling each other’s daily routine, then comes what? Ask the question: What are you doing this weekend? C'mon... :)

I enjoy silence. I believe that words are not always needed. I am a talker none the less, but I'd rather tell a couple of bad jokes or stories from my life, then express my physical condition or to share ideas of the weather forecast. You know, there are times, when silence can seem louder than any other scream...

I don't wanna be rude, nor offend anybody, please forgive me if I offend anyone with this, that would be my last intention. It is just that... maybe this whole entry has no reason, maybe I'm overreacting, or maybe I'm generalizing or God knows what? My point is: Is small talk good? Is it worth talking about everything, but still nothing? Or am I just talking stupid things?

any help... ?

Baby on Board

My cousin and her husband went to London for 1 or 2 weeks (depending on how they feel). They asked my mother whether she would take care of their little baby, Rebeca. My mother immediately accepted this rather charming offer, 'cause she is a nurse and her job is to help babies to come to this world.

This all happened from last Friday till this Sunday. The first day was ... interesting. The baby was adorable. Rebus always smiles, even to strangers, but she especially laughs when I'm there, and I still haven't decided whether she is laughing with me, or on me. She doesn't really like it when I'm holding her, to be frank, she can't stand it. She would rather go to my granny than to stay with me, not to mention my mother. I think that Rebus thinks that my mom is her mom too. Strange, isn't it? She would crawl through the whole house just to get to her and make mom hold her. Once she tried to crawl after my mom when mommy was on the toilet. - ???

Well, whatever, I was home 'till Monday so I didn't have the chance to get into this baby thing, but by last Sunday she really liked me. She played with me, but still wouldn't let me hold her. Every time I tried holding her she would start making faces and nearly crying, then my mother takes her, Rebus looks at me, and smiles. Then my mother used to say: "laugh at David..." - she really starts laughing :D She is really making fun of me, but still, sooooooo cute:)

to be continued...

Nightmare

It's been a loooong time since I've had a nightmare. I can't even recall it. I'm working right now... night shift... (I work at Pannon Hotel*** in Mohács as a receptionist). At night shifts I usually sleep for a couple of hours from 1 or 2 am till 5 am. The same system happened today, too, but at the end of my dream I started losing control... in my dream I had woken up and found a second receptionist with me - ????? - and he wasn't very friendly. We talked and some guests came to check in. When all of a sudden I sensed something strange... it was gettin darker and darker and I felt a certain evilness within that man. Ha became less and less human and the world around me was fading and I was very,very, very afraid.  Then I woke up... at least I thought I had woken up... the dream continued (It seems it didn't wanna let me go). So in the second part of my dream I thought that I was awake. I tried to turn on the lights, but they wouldn't work. Electricity had disappeared, but only from places I was present at. I ran to the entrance and I opened the door... I could see people walking up and down and they were looking at me as if I were crazy or something for I was terrified and in panic. I wanted to run away, but I couldn't leave my post. I closed the door and tried the lights again. The lamp gave me only a minimum of light. That's when I saw that some plant was running down the walls of the whole hotel. I tried to turn on other lights (not only the one at the reception), but I didn't succeed. I remember me saying: "If I'm awake, then how is this happening?". I could feel the presence of the other "receptionist"... I could not see him, but I knew that he was the one behind all this. I ran to the door again (please note that I was screaming all the time and my heart was beating as fast as an express train). I opened it and saw the same people staring at me. I turned back and saw my college on a chopper... his face was pale and his eyes glowing red. He looked at me with a delighted smile and started his black chopper and began going towards me. I didn't run away... I have a philosophy of dying with dignity... I ran straight at him... I landed a punch in his face with my right hand, but I still got ran over, though. I woke up... this time for real... I was numb. I couldn't move, I just stared in front of me whilst feeling my heart beating up my chest from the inside... I got up and turned on the lights, and thank God they were working. I sat down and was still under the shock of this experience. Then I decided to read my e-mails and found Joe's letter and ... here I am... it is 6:22 am. I gonna be working till 4 pm, but I'm gonna carry this nightmare with me throughout the whole day... end

hmmmmmm

This is the second blog I've made. Anyway, I can only make a new blog entry at the weekends. I will try to make meaningful entries and not tell you about my daily routine. Sorry for my lack of words... I've just woken up from a nightmare, which I haven't had for years. I'll tell you about it later...